Happy early Holidays!

•November 25, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Happy early Holidays!.


“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” -Oscar Wilde

•April 23, 2011 • Leave a Comment

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” -Oscar Wilde

Hey guys, I haven’t posted in quite awhile, been a crazy couple of months. So glad to be back in touch with all my friends back home, here in Utah, and wherever else you hooligans are sprinkled around the country! (And The Great UK… just for you Gary and Dean!)  I’ve missed keeping up with all of your crazy lives. Ok, so, here’s me getting back into action and posting some more of my random insanity.

I had lunch with a friend the other day and he had the audacity to state “You Utah boys are all the same…all you want is to dress nice, go skiing, and then straight to the sack!” I was shocked and appalled by this generalization (for surely this doesn’t apply to ME!!!), and so, came up with a few observations on guys (and girls) I’ve met in my travels. It is said, for instance, that New Yorkers think New York is the center of the universe-no, New York IS the universe. Gays in our Nation’s Capital are often said to be starched walking resumes. And L.A. boys are frequently characterized by the three B’s – blond, bronzed, and built. Here’s a bit of what I’ve found as I’ve visited a few of these cities… Straight, gay, or inbetween, let me know of some your own views or stereotypes you’ve observed in the comments section!

· Salt Lake City: Adventurous men of pioneer stock and the lost pink sheep of the Mormon flock gathering at alternative temples where a joyous chorus is heard. Motto: “Come West, young men.”

· New York: Urbane, tending toward decadent, lots of bankers and people in artsy careers wearing “never-before-seen” fashions. Motto: “Seen it, done it, had him.”

· Los Angeles: Blond and built, but bimbos. Actor/model/waiters. More gyms in L.A. than libraries. Motto: “Enough about me; what do you think about me?”

· Chicago: Corn-fed all-American guys, big earnest, and drawn to the gay mecca of the Midwest. Loyal friends. A few months behind the latest fad, but could care less. Motto: “I can’t wait for you to meet Mom.”

· Dallas: Beefy, bow-legged, beer-drinking cowboys dressed in Brooks Brothers’ best. Smooth talking Texans who could charm the pants right off you. They may be in petroleum products, but not necessarily the kind J.R. Ewing coveted. Motto: “Everything in Texas is BIG.”

· Miami: Tanned Cuban beauties in extravagant Versace outfits. Aspiring models working as waiters by day and go-go dancers by night. Motto: “Oh my God! I’ve got a hangnail!”

· San Francisco: Men to be admired. They’ve stared Hell in the face and lived to tell. More leather and Levi’s than in the Lone Star State. Clones that are almost anachronistic in the ‘90s. Motto: “Pride.”

· New Mexico: Tall, handsome, strapping men. Even more homespun than the men of Chicago. Executives in agribusiness or permanent UNM students. Lots of great sweaters. Motto: “Skoal!”

I think some of these stereotypes are appropriate and some not so much, and stereotypes much like these tend to apply to most straight people in these areas as well. (shout out to all my NM homies!  ) If you fit a certain stereotype, then by all means, ROCK IT! You are who you are, I’ve got nothing but love for ya! A French writer Andre Gide said it best….

“It is better to be hated for what one is than to be loved for what one is not.”

For those friends who know who you are and rock it, you inspire me. (i.e. my ninja!)  For those of you who are just figuring it out, keep it up!

You are BEAUTIFUL… a self portrait for everyone

•September 28, 2010 • 5 Comments

I think it’s rare that we get to actually catch a glimpse of ourselves in ways other than getting ready for work/school in the morning mirror, or the occasional glance in the rearview  mirror.

I do however, think that it’s very important to take a good luck at myself once in awhile.  To see ourselves the way others see us, or the way we see ourselves from the inside out.

When working on this self portrait, my mind was consumed by thoughts of how I really see myself.  While I am no cassa nova with an admirable physical beauty, I do believe that what beauty I contain within myself does affect the way others see me physically.  The same goes for all of us.  I think this is a beautiful quote, and I strive (though often fail) to live by this everyday…

“He who knows others is wise; he who know himself is enlightened.” -Lao-tzu

I believe that we have an inner self to explore and that we need to be willing to let ourselves develop our innate talents and gifts.  What we posses inside will always reflect on the outside.  Often beautifully!

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s very important to take care of the way we look.  Exercise, eating healthy, taking care of our skin, dressing well.  All of these things are important because they accentuate the positive things within.  They make us feel better about the way we portray ourselves to the world, and the way we look when we do glance in the mirror.  But beauty indeed does fade if it is only skin deep.  Beauty that comes from within can last forever, long after our bones are buried and turned to dust.

I hope you enjoy taking a minute with my “SelfPortraitStu1” and “SelfPortraitStu2”, I enjoyed creating them.  And I’m enjoying the continual creation that is myself…. I can always become more beautiful.  But more than that I hope you’ll take a moment to enjoy the self portrait that is YOU!  The you that laughs, and loves.  The you that cares, and nurtures.  The you that mothers, or fathers; befriends and confides.   The you that can ONLY BE YOU!!! You are unique, inside and out…. and I for one think  you are BEAUTIFUL!

Love and Peace,



•September 27, 2010 • 4 Comments

Ok, so not too long ago my life and direction changed drastically.  During this period of change there were many instances of frustration and worry and dispair.  However, I was DETERMINED and MOTIVATED and had the HEART to alter the direction my life was headed and steer it in a more positive and fulfilling course.

The reason for posting this now is partly inspired by my “I wish…. ” project, as well as the ItGetsBetter project started by Dan Savage.  The ItGetsBetter project is an effort to prevent suicide among GLBT youth like the recently deceased Billy Lucas who comitted suicide; and to  show young GLBT people that there is hope, and things DO get better.  I’ll be posting my “ItGetsBetter” video response very soon.  In the meantime check out some of the amazing stories posted already.    http://www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbetterproject#p/f/0/7IcVyvg2Qlo

What I learned, I learned by listening to my heart and coming to the realization that ONLY I COULD MAKE MYSELF HAPPY!  No one else could (or should) bear that responsibility.  It was up to me and the effort I was willing to put into myself that led me on the path to personal discovery and the road to happiness.

I want to encourage  you to look at any dreams you have not fulfilled in your life; goals you may have set but never realized; or simply the direction your life is headed and if you have the determination, motivation and heart…. take a chance and go for it!  Now, I’m not saying to quit your day-job to try out for American Idol, but if you enjoy singing, join your churches choir.  If you always wanted to run in a marathon, start training even 30 minutes each day.  If you want to change your career, start taking a night class, or online classes.

Only I can make the biggest difference in my life.  I really like this equation….. It adds up!!!  Oh, and it really DOES get better!!!

Smile, be who you are, and share some love! You’re amazing just the way you are!!!


Put Yourself In a “Time OUT”!!!

•September 21, 2010 • 4 Comments

Have you ever wondered how much time you actually ‘give’ yourself?  If you’re anything like me, it’s probably not very much.  We tend to get so busy and absorbed with work, school, family, friends, and other commitments that we rarely have any time for ourselves.

This last weekend a couple friends and I went camping and boating to end the summer.  It was fantastic in every way.  We got to relax, swim, camp, sit and listen to “Z” play guitar and sing, cook on the campfire, sleep under the stars…. Basically, we simply put ourselves in a ‘Time Out” and just enjoyed ourselves for three whole days.

It’s amazing how depleted we become from our day to day lives, and how simple it can be to ‘recharge’ ourself.  So, take some time out to recharge yourself… even if you can’t get away like that (which I highly recommend), take yourself to a movie and ice cream, or go listen to music in the park, head to the outskirts of town and lay on the hood of your car for a couple hours looking at the stars… just take some time out for you. YOU’RE WORTH IT!!! 

Shhh. I have straight friends…

•September 16, 2010 • 4 Comments

Ok, so this weekend a couple of the ‘boys’ and I are headed off to the lake for a weekend getaway….  No, not like that either.

I seem to have kept a large amount of  ‘split personality’ from the days before I was out; being that for the most part all of my friends, especially guy friends, are straight.  I don’t know if it’s simply the fact that I relate better to straight guys (in all aspects except for the fact that I’m attracted to guys), or if it’s that there’s a whole lot of masculinity lacking in the ‘out’ gay community…

It’s not a matter of sexuality at all.  In fact, the guys I hang out with show a whole lot less ‘judgement’ toward sexuality than most if not ALL of my gay friends.  I think we as a community, and men in particular, need to keep open those opportunities for good old fashion male companionship and friendship… I know I look forward to hanging out with the guys and it looks to be a great weekend…. food, camping, male irresponsibility and sweeeeet memories…. Two faced?  I don’t think so, but, that’s just me.

Push Yourself Forward

•September 13, 2010 • 1 Comment

Just the other day I passed a sign on the road that said “the key to change is letting go of fear”… I thought about that this weekend and it seems to resonate with some of my more recent circumstances, though I hadn’t really thought to put it into so many words.

The change could be great or small, the only obstacle to our success or failure in facing change seems to be ourselves. And if we can overcome whatever fear, or doubt, or other negative emotions, and simply put one foot in front of the other, before you know it you just may have success on the horizon.

I know for myself change isn’t always easy. And sometimes I fail, but that’s only because of my state of mind. But just learning how to let go of fear and doubt and constraints, I’ve been able to change in ways I never expected of myself. One foot in front of the other, and I’ve put miles behind me. There are still many miles to go, but that’s a journey, and I’m always exited about road trips! Push yourself forward, I know I am, let’s see where we end up.

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