“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” -Oscar Wilde

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” -Oscar Wilde

Hey guys, I haven’t posted in quite awhile, been a crazy couple of months. So glad to be back in touch with all my friends back home, here in Utah, and wherever else you hooligans are sprinkled around the country! (And The Great UK… just for you Gary and Dean!)  I’ve missed keeping up with all of your crazy lives. Ok, so, here’s me getting back into action and posting some more of my random insanity.

I had lunch with a friend the other day and he had the audacity to state “You Utah boys are all the same…all you want is to dress nice, go skiing, and then straight to the sack!” I was shocked and appalled by this generalization (for surely this doesn’t apply to ME!!!), and so, came up with a few observations on guys (and girls) I’ve met in my travels. It is said, for instance, that New Yorkers think New York is the center of the universe-no, New York IS the universe. Gays in our Nation’s Capital are often said to be starched walking resumes. And L.A. boys are frequently characterized by the three B’s – blond, bronzed, and built. Here’s a bit of what I’ve found as I’ve visited a few of these cities… Straight, gay, or inbetween, let me know of some your own views or stereotypes you’ve observed in the comments section!

· Salt Lake City: Adventurous men of pioneer stock and the lost pink sheep of the Mormon flock gathering at alternative temples where a joyous chorus is heard. Motto: “Come West, young men.”

· New York: Urbane, tending toward decadent, lots of bankers and people in artsy careers wearing “never-before-seen” fashions. Motto: “Seen it, done it, had him.”

· Los Angeles: Blond and built, but bimbos. Actor/model/waiters. More gyms in L.A. than libraries. Motto: “Enough about me; what do you think about me?”

· Chicago: Corn-fed all-American guys, big earnest, and drawn to the gay mecca of the Midwest. Loyal friends. A few months behind the latest fad, but could care less. Motto: “I can’t wait for you to meet Mom.”

· Dallas: Beefy, bow-legged, beer-drinking cowboys dressed in Brooks Brothers’ best. Smooth talking Texans who could charm the pants right off you. They may be in petroleum products, but not necessarily the kind J.R. Ewing coveted. Motto: “Everything in Texas is BIG.”

· Miami: Tanned Cuban beauties in extravagant Versace outfits. Aspiring models working as waiters by day and go-go dancers by night. Motto: “Oh my God! I’ve got a hangnail!”

· San Francisco: Men to be admired. They’ve stared Hell in the face and lived to tell. More leather and Levi’s than in the Lone Star State. Clones that are almost anachronistic in the ‘90s. Motto: “Pride.”

· New Mexico: Tall, handsome, strapping men. Even more homespun than the men of Chicago. Executives in agribusiness or permanent UNM students. Lots of great sweaters. Motto: “Skoal!”

I think some of these stereotypes are appropriate and some not so much, and stereotypes much like these tend to apply to most straight people in these areas as well. (shout out to all my NM homies!  ) If you fit a certain stereotype, then by all means, ROCK IT! You are who you are, I’ve got nothing but love for ya! A French writer Andre Gide said it best….

“It is better to be hated for what one is than to be loved for what one is not.”

For those friends who know who you are and rock it, you inspire me. (i.e. my ninja!)  For those of you who are just figuring it out, keep it up!


~ by stuart on April 23, 2011.

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